I want to feel 'hope'... hopeful... that hopefully... one day... I sit in front of my Gohonzan, candles lit, incense burning, legs folded, plant, water, beads. I stare at the mandala in its white wooden Butsudan (cabinet for mandala; Gohonzan) hoping for some strength to return to my being. Hopeful if I chant for long … Continue reading Hope?


The Women in White Coats

Last night the women in white coats arrived at my doorstep, armed with straight jacket, electric prod and an order to section... Well... that's how it felt! My doctor decided to refer me to the crisis team in my area as a result of suicidal thoughts and behaviours that I had been demonstrating. Doc only … Continue reading The Women in White Coats