Moments I forgave but cannot forget. Broken promises and hidden crack pipes, smashed apartment with daughter in my belly and son in my arms, broke our lives in that moment. You live, you learn, pick up the pieces, you move on.
Art found here: What am I looking for? I ask myself that over and over this past week. What is holding me back from moving forward with my life? The effects of my ex-husband and his failure to disclose his HIV whilst still having unprotected sex with me has dug its sharp end in deeply. … Continue reading Tinder and the quest for a Nail
I want to feel 'hope'... hopeful... that hopefully... one day... I sit in front of my Gohonzan, candles lit, incense burning, legs folded, plant, water, beads. I stare at the mandala in its white wooden Butsudan (cabinet for mandala; Gohonzan) hoping for some strength to return to my being. Hopeful if I chant for long … Continue reading Hope?
Four hours... four hours to convince myself to leave the house yesterday to attend a family 'Holy Communion' mass followed by a party. Totally missed the church service faffing around and swinging between anxious - shouty - tearful - in what seemed to send me spinning about like a weird dented tin top. Eventually (after locking … Continue reading It’s raining in my head