Art found here: What am I looking for? I ask myself that over and over this past week. What is holding me back from moving forward with my life? The effects of my ex-husband and his failure to disclose his HIV whilst still having unprotected sex with me has dug its sharp end in deeply. … Continue reading Tinder and the quest for a Nail
I want to feel 'hope'... hopeful... that hopefully... one day... I sit in front of my Gohonzan, candles lit, incense burning, legs folded, plant, water, beads. I stare at the mandala in its white wooden Butsudan (cabinet for mandala; Gohonzan) hoping for some strength to return to my being. Hopeful if I chant for long … Continue reading Hope?
Four hours... four hours to convince myself to leave the house yesterday to attend a family 'Holy Communion' mass followed by a party. Totally missed the church service faffing around and swinging between anxious - shouty - tearful - in what seemed to send me spinning about like a weird dented tin top. Eventually (after locking … Continue reading It’s raining in my head