Tinder and the quest for a Nail

Art found here: What am I looking for? I ask myself that over and over this past week. What is holding me back from moving forward with my life? The effects of my ex-husband and his failure to disclose his HIV whilst still having unprotected sex with me has dug its sharp end in deeply. … Continue reading Tinder and the quest for a Nail

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Hope?

I want to feel 'hope'... hopeful... that hopefully... one day... I sit in front of my Gohonzan, candles lit, incense burning, legs folded, plant, water, beads. I stare at the mandala in its white wooden Butsudan (cabinet for mandala; Gohonzan) hoping for some strength to return to my being. Hopeful if I chant for long … Continue reading Hope?

Cutting

I have spent the morning crying mostly. Lost job due to depression and my capability to perform my job (mutually agreed) and have received an eviction notice from my landlord. After sobbing in a heap on my mock Turkish Rug and screaming/crying at various people down the phone I decide eating is the way forward. … Continue reading Cutting

Bad Mother?

My youngest daughter is confident, outgoing, smart and creative. She is also very determined, stubborn, emotional and wilful. I am ... most of the time... able to channel the onset of her many tantrums but there are times (OK frequently - I'm being honest) when I am unable to do this. She will have tantrums … Continue reading Bad Mother?